Hafiz

 

Office dares

For anyone working in an office:
OFFICE DARES – NEW OBJECTIVES FOR THE WEEK

ONE-POINT DARE
1. Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.
2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way”.
4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5. While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
6. When in the lift with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
7. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy…”
8. Don’t use any punctuation.
9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.
THREE-POINT DARES
1. Say to your boss, “I like your style”, wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4. Every time you get an email, shout ”email”.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, “dammit, it’s happened again!”. Then do it again.
7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as “the office bicycle”. Then wink and pout.
8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can’t seem to access any pornography web sites.
FIVE-POINT DARES
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Dave”.
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a number two”.
5. After every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: “The report’s on your desk, Mon.” Keep this up for one hour.
6. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!”
7. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, “As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again!”
8. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
9. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.
10. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
11. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
12. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
13. Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, “I’ll see you tonight”.

Ookal werk ik niet op kantoor, deze zijn echt meesterlijk!

 

“We know the sap which
courses through the
trees as we know the blood
that courses through our veins.

We are part of the earth
and it is part of us.

The perfumed flowers
are our sisters. The bear,
the deer, the great eagle,
these are our brothers.

The rocky crests, the
dew in the meadow, the body
heat of the pony, and man all belong to
the same family..”
[ Chief Seattle]

Dat stond op een servetje wat ik kreeg toen ik laatst bij “Bagels & Beans” een kop koffie dronk. Dat verwacht je niet bij een koffieketen.. xD

Sowieso, als je langs een Bagels&Beans komt.. Ga naar binnen!
Zulke heerlijke koffie!(maar ook thee en sapjes!) Redelijk betaalbaar, en gewoon echt fantastisch! Daarnaast hebben ze ooknog bagels(soort broodjes), en muffins etc! Alles wordt ter plekke gemaakt en is dus vers! Daarnaast zijn ze ook nogeens Fair Trade en biologisch voor zover dat kan!
http://www.bagelsbeans.nl/
(er staat ook een menukaart online!)

Ik hoor wel hoe je het vond..
Knuf, Charlot

 

The paradox of our age

“We have bigger houses, but smaller families.
We have more convinces, but less time.
We have more degrees, but less sense.
We have more knowledge, but less judgements.
We have more experts, but more problems.
We have more medicines, but less healthiness.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back,
but we have trouble to cross the street to meet the new neighbours.
We build more computers, to hold more information the ever,
but we have less communication.
We have become a long way on quanity but short to quality.
These are the times of fast foods but slow digestion.
There are tall man, but with small character.
We have steep profits, but shallow relationships.
It is a time where there is much in the window,
but nothing in the room.”

~ Dalai Lama XIVth

Picture by: chemicall_dream.deviantart.com